Even the word scares the living shit out of me. I'm eighteen. I'm an adult, but still a boy. I'm not prepared for adulthood. Not by a long shot. I am supposed to be responsible and supposed to have everything figured out like all my class-mates seem to have accomplished, But i have not. I have nothing figured out, not even remotely.
I spent the past few months wrestling with the idea of holding off college for a semester or two.To go to the music festival Bonnaroo, a giant music and comedy 4 day concert, featuring my favorite musicians of all time. Mumford and Sons, and last but not least. Paul Mccartney. The festival ends a few days before graduation and after the graduation hoo plah is over, I'd like to spend my summer working in Alaska then in the fall to move to the warmer climes of the south west and maybe work down in Arizona until i got bored and decide to keep tramping around.
I don't know what exactly what i want to do, Even the things i do know i want to do, i have no plans in order, absoluetly none. But i guess that's the beauty in it. I don't want to know what I'm doing or where I am going. I want to live on the lamb. To be on the run from cumbersome expectations and responsibilities. To really find an unknown part of my self, to broaden my horizons and feed & cleanse my spirit and in the process , find out the true meaning of living; to live the lives of men i only read about & to write about my adventures. I have since decided I'll go to a year of school and then do something crazy after my first year of college. Spend my summer in Alaska? Maybe walk some of the Pacific Crest Trail? I don't know all i do know is if i stay in Buffalo too long my head will explode.
My young adult-boyhood craves total freedom and adventure. An absence from the norm; an abundance of fresh new experiences. Most of my childhood i was constantly bombarded by new people and places which added to my knowledge bucket and is why i have such itchy feet. I've been at the same place with the same people for the past 6 years. I am overdue. I'm an experience junkie. i thrive on ever changing horizons and i feel an adventure or two would be good for my mind and spirit.
I seemed to go off on a bit of a tangent, but these are the main issues i face in my life as a boy-adult. Hopefully i can make it through this first year of school without going nuts, and live the life i want thereafter. To live unencumbered and most of all to live free and happy.
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