What i have been up to over these last few months in Alaska.

Hi, all! As i start thinking about the season coming to an end, i thought i'd share with you how the summer has been going as well as what i have been up to. It has been a rocky summer to say the least. Dealing with a plethora of deep and unsettling personal problems has definitely taken its tole, as well as financial issues, new work and basically 2 months of rain.

The issues started almost immediately. When we started our jobs at the Denali Princess Wilderness Lodge, A Princess Cruises hotel, we had to sit through 5 days of "orientation" or as i like to call it, brain washing. We were told that our haircuts, facial hair and styles had to be uniform with everyone else. No tattoos, no piercings, they even told us what colored shirts to wear off work! Feeling uncomfortable with working for this corporation, we were told Madison couldn't work there with dread locks. Madison, unwilling to shave her head for a seasonal job promptly decided to take a different route and started applying for jobs in the area that same day. I went in to work and was told to leave because my long hair, which helped me get my foot out the door. A few minutes after we found out we both had to cut our hair we rushed back to housing, gathered our things and left. We were homeless, jobless and in the middle of Alaska. Even with that being said, we were more excited than ever. We were excited to not be working for a morally ambiguous corporation and even more so, we were excited to be in Alaska. That night we camped in a giant gravel pit down stampede road. The next day we were pleased to find that the interviews we had the previous day were successful and now we had a job.

We moved in to our new home for the summer around May 12th. We were now living at Denali Air, a flightseeing company with a mile long airstrip and a bunch of Piper Navajo airplanes. Here we had our own cozy cabin that was just ours. The cabin is the most roomy place we've lived in, equipped with a bed loft, couch, shelves and a propane heater. We began work at Black Bear Coffee House right across the street from the lodge. The Black Bear is a hip, organic, friendly and fun place where most locals hang out. Needless to say we were jazzed to be working for a mom and pop where we knew the people would be awesome. As the days progressed and we got more and more comfortable with The Black Bear and Denali Air, our coworkers and neighbors became friends and have now turned into some of the best friends i have ever made. Everyone in Denali seemed to have the same mindset. We are all idealists who came to Alaska more or less on a whim. We all craved adventure, a journey into the unknown. Everyone travels across the globe in the winter and finds their way back to Denali in the summer. Year after Year.

We then got into our work groove, just working and hanging out. During June we didn't do much besides a camping trip into the park, which got more rain in decades the night we were there. Which makes for an interesting story nonetheless. But besides that not much happened.

Things got more interesting in July when money became a huge issue and a change had to be immediate. Because of the high price of room and board we were paying (Alaska has some of the highest cost of living on the continent because of its remote location) we couldn't afford our bills and Madison couldn't afford her car payments. Madison was initially going to leave, almost booking the plane ticket and everything but then she decided last minute she would move out of Denali Air and live in her car, a move that has definitely payed off.

The summer has had its ups and downs but i wouldn't trade the experiences iv'e had and friends i have made for anything in the world. A few days ago we were blessed with awesome weather and i feel change is in the air. From here on out it seems everything is going to be better. With only 6 weeks left in the season i'm ready to see as much Alaska as i can before i leave and i am very hopeful for the future. 

A Journey Across North America: Arizona to Alaska

Hi everyone! This is the first time i'm blogging in months, but with the support i have been getting in the past few weeks i thought i'd get the blog going again.

About 11 days ago, me and my girlfriend began our trip across the continent traveling from Arizona to Alaska. The trip was about 3,500 miles and crossed 2 countries, 5 state borders, and 3 provinces. We started the trip with an open heart and mind. We knew that it would test our limits as a couple as well as live for a week in a way we've never lived before.

The trip began a little rocky, we had to stay at the canyon for an extra day to wait for Madison's passport. Since we were unemployed and didn't have a residence there anymore we ended up camping in the Kaibab National Forest right outside the park. This gave us a preview of the days to come. It was cold and dark but an excellent experience. I got my last look at the wonderful night sky that i have come to adore over the last year and another day to enjoy the splendors of Northern Arizona.

Day 1: Arizona to Utah
Today we hit the road more excited than ever, feeling like we had the whole world at our fingertips. We made our way through the Navajo Nation, crossed the Colorado River and hooked up to Utah. Enjoying the beautiful scenery all around us and giving our home a final farewell we began our trip through the red rock formations of Southern Utah. We then drove through the vast forests and farmlands of mid and northern Utah, finally reaching beautiful Salt Lake City. Since it was raining we had to get a hotel room, a corner that i did not want to cut in the beginning, but something we inevitably had to do throughout the trip. Although, after a long day in a car a hot meal and warm bed was an expense worth paying.

Day 2: Utah, Idaho to Montana
After a day on the road we new a trip like this wasn't going to be easy. We woke up to stormy conditions and wet dangerous driving conditions. We drove past multiple accidents on the interstate which along with the dreary weather seemed to crush our moods and morale. We drove about a hundred miles and came into Idaho, which had nothing more than farms and small towns. A place which seemed to be dominated by right-winged rednecks it was a place we couldn't wait to get out of. Although after the dullness of Idaho we trucked on into Montana, which proved to make the whole american part of the trip. We past dense forests, mountain passes, valleys, river crossings and beautiful cabins. We ended the day at a family owned hotel in the bad part of Great Falls, Montana. From the outside the place looked like a rundown cheap motel, but when we went in it proved to be way different with a king sized bed and suite-like room it was definitely the best room of the trip as well as the cheapest!

Day 3: Montana to Alberta, Canada
Waking up to sunny, warm temperatures we left Great Falls and hit the road for Canada day! The drive led us through the plains and oil fields of northern Montana, which followed us all the way to Alberta. After about 2 hours we reached the border and were appalled to find shortly after entering how expensive EVERYTHING was! Gas was $1.30 a liter which amounted to about 5 dollars a gallon.  (a price which made its way all the way to $1.60/liter or $5.92 a gallon. Yikes!) for lunch we stopped in Lethbridge and enjoyed our first legal beer ever! (drinking age is 18 in Alberta) we then kept on going, making our way to a town just south of Edmonton. Alberta didn't have much to offer us in terms of scenery, since we totally an unintentionally bypassed the Rockies and Jasper and Banff National Parks. We finally got to the town of Leduc and thus began our effort to find a relatively modestly price room, which proved to be foolhardy. We went to every hotel we could find leaving disappointed from everyone when we learned that all the rates were $100+, a price well out of our budget. We ended up finding a shit hole hotel that cost a whopping $80 bucks, but being the cheapest room and to cold to camp we had no choice. The room was adorned with 80's era tapestry and linens and, although it was advertised as smoke free, reeked of marijuana and cigarette smoke. Enjoying the liberal Alcohol laws of Alberta, we headed over to a bar where i enjoyed a 10 dollar stein of exceptional beer. That being about the only good thing Alberta had to offer.

Day 4: Alberta to British Columbia
Today was Alaska Highway day! We left and headed towards Fort St. John, British Columbia planning on camping out because of our dwindling funds and high costs of everything in Canada. However, this day turned out being one of the most stressful, having been overcharged twice for gas and were running out of money fast as well as other events that i will explain later. The drive turned out to be uneventful as well, just driving through oil fields, grasslands and woods. When we got to the campsite about a hundred miles outside of Fort St. John we were greeted with a soupy mud road. We decided to try it anyway, seeing that our destination was only a mile down the road. This, we learned, was a mistake. We ended up getting our tiny Honda Fit stuck in the mud only a few hundred feet down the road and i had to exit the car and push the car in my Crocs. We got back to the road pissed off and befuddled. We had no where to stay the night, we were hundreds of miles from the nearest city, totally unwilling to turn around and had only an hour or two of daylight. With the roads being riddled with moose at night driving with the sun down was not an option so we just kept on going until we found the nearest haven of civilization. We reached a little oil service town called Pink Mountain and went to a run down truckers cafe and motel to ask directions to the nearest campground. The woman told us they were all closed for the season but welcomed us to stay in their parking lot. An offer we graciously took. The woman said it reached below freezing at night and the ground was to muddy to put down a tent so we set up our sleeping bags in the front of the car after we got a good cheap dinner from the restaurant and fell into an uncomfortable, fitful sleep.

Day 5: British Columbia to The Yukon Territory
The day started at 5:30 am and was the longest day of the trip. We left and made our way the hundred or so miles to Fort Nelson, got a good Tim Hortons breakfast, A ritual we followed every morning in Canada and made our way to the Yukon. This day was by far the most beautiful of our whole trip. Shortly after leaving Fort Nelson the Alaska Highway hooked into the heart of the Northern Rockies. Driving through the Huge Mountain passes and next to crystal clear creeks it inspired and made me remember why i was doing this. We saw more wildlife than we've ever seen in our lives. We passed through a herd of mountain sheep, multiple herds of caribou, a bear, herds of giant bison and spotting our first moose.

When we reached the Yukon we planned on staying at a town called Watson Lake. We reached the town shortly after entering the Yukon. The town didn't have much of anything to offer. Since we were sleeping in the car again we needed a discreet place to camp for the night and since the days were significantly longer in the Yukon, we decided to keep moving to the town of Teslin, which was about 2 hours away. We got to Teslin and were definitely more pleased. There was a good spot for camping with a great view. I got my last 6 pack of beer and continued the routine of car camping we started the night before. 

Day 6: Yukon to Alaska  

Alaska Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The day started like the previous morning. We woke up a little later at 6:30 and started driving right away. Excited to finally be getting to Alaska we stopped fewer than previous days, only stopping for gas and in Whitehorse for our daily dose of Tim Horton's. The end of the highway in Yukon was the worst part of the whole road. With long never ending sections of frost heaves it slowed us down to only 40 miles an hour for 100 miles. We finally got to Alaska and made our way to our destination of Tok. When we got to Tok we realized we got payed earlier in the morning so we bought an expensive hotel room and enjoyed the splendors of the states and celebrated our arrival in Alaska with a fulfilling dinner. Shortly after we checked into our room we met a man who was in the room next to us with the same make and model car from the same place, Flagstaff. We talked more and it turned out he was heading to Denali as well. We learned he had a cabin on Stampede Road, the road made famous by "Into the Wild", and he invited us to stay until we checked in to our job a few days later. 

We went to sleep happy that we finally reached our new home and that our trip was over. 

Day 7: Fairbanks, AK

We drove the few hours to Fairbanks where I had a friend I met online who invited us to stay the night. Reaching Fairbanks we did some shopping at the local Walmart and enjoyed our hard earned day of relaxing. She made us dinner and let us enjoy her satellite TV and high speed internet. 

Day 8: Healy, AK

We woke up at ten and made our way to Healy. A 2 hour drive down the George Parks Highway, we entered healy and were in awe at the hugeness of the Alaskan Range as well as the beauty of the surrounding land. We got breakfast at a local cafe, checked out the park, did our laundry, took showers and headed to our new friends cabin, which we would stay for the next 2 days. The cabin was beautiful and very rustic. Slightly under the tree line the land around the cabin offered great vistas of the surrounding environment and gave us a good taste of what our home was going to be like. The sun didn't set until 11, which was definitely something to get used to. One thing i didn't expect were the mosquitoes. They bit me alive and left me with a dozen plus bites. But besides that i'm thrilled to be here and i don't plan on leaving anytime soon. 

That's it. Welcome home.  

Living at the Grand Canyon

   It's been a while since I've posted, so let me run you up to speed. July 28th, I moved to Grand Canyon National Park with my girlfriend Madison working for the concessionaire Xanterra. The month of August has been a long one, filled with many adventures and personal transformations. Too many to explain in one post. It feels as if I've been here my whole life. Buffalo seems like such a far off memory.
  Moving here feels like one of the best decisions of my life. I love it here, It turned me into an active outdoors man and introduced me to many great people. Now that I've left the sheltered confines of orchard park, that stunted my intellectual growth by keeping me so bubbled i feel i can do anything. I can be anyone.
   Living at the Grand Canyon, i see a magnitude of nature that i never saw living in Buffalo for 18 years. 600 pound Elk come up to my window and it's no big deal. I see raccoons, butterflies even coyotes daily. Hiking into the canyon, i go from pine forests to barren desert. From 70 degree weather to 100 degree weather in a matter of miles.

   One experience i had, the most trans formative and awe inspiring thing that has ever happened to me was a hike. My first hike ever into the canyon, and the most risky one can take. Rim to river and back. The hike is about 18 miles round trip and descends 5000 feet into the canyon, as well as ascending 5000 feet. Now, I don't know how much you know about New York topography but the highest "mountain" is only about 4000 feet. A mountain climb a lot of New Yorkers find challenging and the funny thing about canyon hiking is when you descend and you're already tired... you still have to ascend.
   Anyway, My friend and I started late in the afternoon at about 1pm and made our descent down the Bright Angel Trail (the trail your supposed to ascend if you go rim to river and back). After an hour we got down to a place called Indian Garden, Which is a little oasis that houses ranger stations and campgrounds on a plateau about 4.5 miles from the trailhead. This was supposed to be my turn around, but i was feeling good so decided to keep pressing on after we ate a hearty trail lunch of chips and jerky, as well as talking to a nice bearded gentleman who makes his living guiding trips into the canyon- only leaving the remote canyon a few days out of the month.
   After we left, we made it to the river about an hour and a half later, traversing through the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen.

   15 minutes later at 5pm, we reached Phantom Ranch, a popular location owned by Xanterra which houses mule riders who come down into the canyon as well as a canteen and restaurant for weary travelers. By now i was a little bit tired, it was about a hundred degrees in the canyon and i was a little whipped from walking the 9.5 miles it took to get there. Knowing that we only had a few precious hours of daily light and no reliable light source we gathered some food and electrolytes from the employee bunk house and went on our way.
   We began walking the mile long river trail at 5:45 pm and made it to the South Kaibab trail at about 6. The South Kaibab is shorter than the Bright Angel, being only at a length of 7.1 miles but is much more steeper and exposed. On the Bright Angel, there is plenty of shelter from the elements because it flows on the sides and in between side canyons. South Kaibab, one is almost always on a cliff face.
   Only a few minutes into the hike i was feeling sharp burns in my legs and shortness of breath. It was then i realized the hell i was about to endure.
   After just a few miles and a short hour and a half the sun went down. With the sun being down, my morale was as low as it's ever been. I've heard stories of people dying in the canyon of exhaustion and hypothermia and i felt i was nearing that point. Every switch back i had to sit down, my whole body was aching my heart was beating out of my chest and it was cooling down. Within a few hours i was utterly spent. My whole body began aching, my breathing became irregular and rapid and i began getting cold. I knew i had to keep pressing on. I had no choice. It was either keep walking and make it home or stay on the trail and whither away through the night. It was the first time I've ever truly been afraid for my life.
   My friend Mason kept telling me around every corner "These are the final switchbacks" "This is the final plateau" and i believed him- until we got to a sign after what felt like days of walking that we still had 3.5 miles left. We were just half way! It was at this point i broke down. Truly broke down like I've never broken down before. I was pissed. I was pissed at him for bringing me down here without any hiking experience, i was pissed at the canyon for being so ruthless and i was pissed at myself for not having better judgement. But as we both knew, there was no choice but to keep going.
   Now i was in zombie mode, i was so utterly spent i couldn't even think. All i knew how to do was to keep moving. If anyone remembers my little cameo on 20/20 where i said "I felt like a zombie" well here you go, that is the most accurate way to describe how i was feeling.
   My legs began buckling and muscles began pulling. It hurt so bad i stopped and screamed. But i had to be very cautious of where i sat down because of the rattlesnakes, scorpions and other creepy crawlies that call this canyon home. As we were walking, i felt a sharp sharp pain in my heel. Thinking there was some sort of bug in my shoe i sat down and ripped it off as well as my sweat drenched socks. After looking i realized it was a blister, a blister that engulfed half of my heel. Putting back on the shoe i walked with a limp because the blister hurt so bad.
   Now i needed shelter, i needed rest. I was so scared in this isolated canyon. I needed to talk to someone who knew what to do, someone who could help me. Then i got my wish- kind of. Walking slower than molasses, i saw headlamps far off in the distance, I screamed and asked them if they were rangers, my voice echoing off the lonely canyon walls and trailing off into the abyss. They answered back something inaudible. "HELP" i thought. After about a half an hour we finally met them. It was two kids from Chicago. They were about 20 years old and on a road trip across the western United States. Although they weren't rangers, they were people. I felt a million times better being with people. They let me use their headlamp and told me the rim wasn't far off. Still, it was about an hour and a half of grueling walking to the top. To home. Walking and talking took my mind off the pain and exhaustion.
   Eventually we came to the final switchbacks. We could see the rim, and the lights. My "Stairway To Heaven" as Mason called it. As i was resting for the final push, the Chicago boys went up so they could meet us at the rim with their car, which was parked half a mile away from the trail head. Walking, i knew the end was in sight. Trees were now growing off the sides- a difference from most of the desert trail, where only small shrubs and plants grow. Then i could see it! The final switchback! I walked as fast as anyone could walk. When i reached the top i was greeted with open arms to a parking lot. A parking lot! The most beautiful parking lot I've ever seen! I was back in the reaches of beautiful. beautiful civilization.
   Although then the hike was the worst thing to ever happen to me now it seems like the best thing to ever happen to me. It showed me that i had alot in me, alot more than i thought. That morning i never thought I'd be able to do what i did. 18 miles of some of the most difficult terrain in the world. It also showed me the power of the wilderness. Down there, you are nothing. Nature can take you and swallow you without even thinking about it. If anything, it will be pleased with your demise by giving your decomposing carcass to the buzzards and helping the ecosystem. Because of the hike, i lost a toe nail and my feet became hamburger meat. But that hasn't stopped me. Now i love hiking and have big trips planned for the future. I learned the canyon just needs to break you in before you walk over It's beautiful trails with ease.

 "God forgives, the canyon doesn't".

Eighteen....

It's here at last. Adulthood. Eighteen

Even the word scares the living shit out of me. I'm eighteen. I'm an adult, but still a boy. I'm not prepared for adulthood. Not by a long shot. I am supposed to be responsible and supposed to have everything figured out like all my class-mates seem to have accomplished, But i have not. I have nothing figured out, not even remotely. 

I spent the past few months wrestling with the idea of holding off college for a semester or two.To go to the music festival Bonnaroo, a giant music and comedy 4 day concert, featuring my favorite musicians of all time. Mumford and Sons, and last but not least. Paul Mccartney. The festival ends a few days before graduation and after the graduation hoo plah is over, I'd like to spend my summer working in Alaska then in the fall to move to the warmer climes of the south west and maybe work down in Arizona until i got bored and decide to keep tramping around.

I don't know what exactly what i want to do, Even the things i do know i want to do, i have no plans in order, absoluetly none. But i guess that's the beauty in it. I don't want to know what I'm doing or where I am going. I want to live on the lamb. To be on the run from cumbersome expectations and responsibilities. To really find an unknown part of my self, to broaden my horizons and feed & cleanse my spirit and in the process , find out the true meaning of living; to live the lives of men i only read about & to write about my adventures. I have since decided I'll go to a year of school and then do something crazy after my first year of college. Spend my summer in Alaska? Maybe walk some of the Pacific Crest Trail? I don't know all i do know is if i stay in Buffalo too long my head will explode. 

My young adult-boyhood craves total freedom and adventure. An absence from the norm; an abundance of fresh new experiences. Most of my childhood i was constantly bombarded by new people and places which added to my knowledge bucket and is why i have such itchy feet. I've been at the same place with the same people for the past 6 years. I am overdue. I'm an experience junkie. i thrive on ever changing horizons and i feel an adventure or two would be good for my mind and spirit. 

I seemed to go off on a bit of a tangent, but these are the main issues i face in my life as a boy-adult. Hopefully i can make it through this first year of school without going nuts, and live the life i want thereafter. To live unencumbered and most of all to live free and happy.

My Take On God.

My Take on God 

               God. What a concept. Something that has started wars, persecution and genocide over the millennia, but who is god? What is god? Where is god? Is there even such as thing as god and if so, whose is right? These are the questions I believe every active thinker should ask.
              Over the centuries there have been many forms of religion and evolution of the belief of “god”. From the ancient Greek gods to modern day Allah. Today many of the most notable religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and Islam all believe in the same god, but have vastly different variations of his message. The big question is, is he real? Well scientifically speaking, I do not think so. No one being made the universe by hand from scratch. The concept of a god contradicts all modern science, and cannot be backed up by any proof or evidence, only ones faith.  Personally speaking I do not believe god as a being that many of the modern day churches believe, but I believe him to be more of a manifestation of man’s imagination.

                God was created because he gives people guidance and hope. His prophets help establish a moral code to man and promises of eternal life to all who follow the path of the righteous. This eternal life gives men something to look forward too, and lessens the effect death can have on one’s consciousness.  For a species that is so accustomed to death and hardship, god and religion are the perfect answers. He acts as a shoulder to lean on, a person to talk to and even a scapegoat. He is the good Sheppard who leads his flock, the king who cares for his people. God is man’s answer for everything, and without god who knows where man would be, but it probably would not be a positive place that’s for sure, because no matter what it comes down too religion has always helped people in turmoil.

                Just because I do not believe in god as a person or creator, does not mean I don’t believe in him at all. God is within us all, he gives us hope, strength, faith and discipline He is our soul and our spirit, he is the fabric that keeps all life on earth wound together and intertwined. Many people in this day and age I think, would believe in this too. People are no longer mindless sheep following the every word of an organization, people now ask questions and find answers and although god may not exist, he is one of human kind’s greatest ideas and without god our species would be lost. 

A Little Bit About Myself.

   Let me give you some background on who i am. My names Francis (Frank) Dicesare, I am a 17 year old senior from Western New York. I was in foster care for a little more than 10 years of my life. I moved in with my current family when i was 12, and was finally adopted when i was 14. Reasons for me being in foster care are still not completely known to me, but for the most part it was because of my parents drug habits, such as Heroin use and Prescription drug abuse, Which ultimately led to my mothers death, but i will get more into that later on. Although my parents made mistakes i do not mean to bash them in any way, The past is the past and whatever happened is over. I love my parents very much and i do not wish harm to them, they unfortunately are just part of my story.
   Rarely do i share what i am about to share with all of you to even my closest of friends, but i feel it is time i document my life in hopes to not receive pity or praise, but to help those who feel that all hope is lost. To show that in times of turmoil, one can find wisdom and strength. For i don't consider my past a nuisance, i consider it a journey. One that is continuously changing and evolving day by day. Everything i post on here will be a little chapter of my life, documenting my past, and my present. This blog is also to document my travels i plan on ensuing after i graduate high school, starting with Alaska in the summer. Last but not least, i hope this blog will strengthen my writing and making a life on the road possible.
   
My inspiration for making this blog would be kenilgunas.com, with all his amazing stories and guidance he has personally given me and Ashley Rhodes-Courter, whose memoir, Three Little Words has helped me realize that i am not alone.

Final Note: This blog may also act as a journal, so bare with me. Thanks for reading!